SAS #007: Immediate Happiness: Only Wanting What You Truly Love
Read time: 2 min
Our minds buzz all day with flashes of things we want. The big house, the nice car, the important career.
Some desires bring us joy, but others distract us and make us feel like we don’t have enough.
What if you only wanted things that truly brought you joy?
This is the secret shortcut to happiness: Only want things you can truly love.
It will simplify your life and make your priorities clear.
Before using this idea, I wanted a lot of things:
A big house, loads of international travel (this one still hangs around), tons of money, a really nice car, big job title, all the admiration from others at work, etc.
Now, the things I have space to truly love are:
Time with my family, deeply connecting with my friends, helping my team grow, working on my writing, practicing meditation, and spending more time in nature.
Of all the things I wanted before, none are on my new list.
When I first learned about this perspective, only wanting things I can truly love, it was like a lightbulb went off. I immediately felt at ease.
Only wanting things you can truly love is like a compass for figuring out what you really want. It limits your choices to things you have time and space for.
It is an active practice.
But if you remember to only want things you can truly love, it simplifies your life and declutters your mind.
If you do this, you will start making choices that bring you closer to things that make you happy.
And if you only desire things that make you happy, and make choices that bring those things into your life, of course you will experience more joy.
You won’t be spending your energy yearning for things that are not going to make you happy.
This will reprioritize your mind and free up your mental resources. You will be able to do better work, be more present with the people in your life, and be happier.
This even works in relationships.
Imagine meeting someone you want to impress. You think about wanting them to like you. But using your new compass, and asking yourself what you have space for, and you see what you really want is to build a relationship with them.
This leads you to being more at ease and connect with them rather than trying to get their attention or “make them like you.”
All that said, wanting things is not bad at all. It can be a very good thing.
It can be a double edged sword. On one hand it can make you feel like you don’t have enough. On the other hand, it can motivate you to work towards achieving your goals.
But, if you are wanting the wrong things, and even if you work hard to get them, you won’t be happy at the end of the journey.
If you want to be happier now, and work towards the goals that will make you even happier, only desire what you truly love.
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